We sat on the grey sofa as Donna told her story. She was 21 years old when she found out she was pregnant. She didn’t go through an agency, like most, to find her son a home. Instead, her therapist recommended a couple to Donna. Reflecting on her adoption process, Donna said she feels anger and guilt. She wishes she would have explored different adoption options and regrets following her therapist’s advice. Justin was placed with a couple who, at the time, were seeing Donna’s therapist for marriage counseling. He was adopted as a newborn. His adoptive parents got a divorce when he was nine. Donna’s hopes of placing her son with a loving, happy couple were crushed.
Justin, now 24, is currently in federal prison on drug and weapon charges. Donna said she wonders if Justin’s fate would have been different if she had raised him herself. She smiled and explained that even though the situation is not an entirely happy one, there is a silver lining: they are pen pals.
Justin and Donna write to one another as much as possible. They talk about programs on TV and articles they’ve read in magazines. Donna started to laugh as she told me that Justin asked for her in finding a female pen pal. “It feels good to know that he wants to make the effort,” Donna said.
Behind the Scenes Dispatch by:
Mary Duke, a member of the EngageWisconsin team
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>PARTICIPATE: WPT’s EngageWisconsin team invites any Wisconsin resident with a personal story about adoption to participate. Whether you are a birth parent, an adoptee, a social worker, an adoptive parent, a sibling to an adoptee, etc., we welcome and value all your stories related to adoption. If this opportunity interests you, please contact Mary Duke for more information. Email:
ABOUT ADOPTION STORIES — Wisconsin is one of the most prevalent states for both domestic and international adoptions to occur. Unfortunately, there are also some 1,244 children currently in foster care, waiting to be placed in a permanent home. Between those adults choosing to adopt, children who have been adopted already, and the many children waiting for an adoptive home, it is clear that adoption is a huge part of Wisconsin’s family dynamics, affecting the lives of many of our fellow residents.
Inspired by that fact and “Adoption Stories: Inside Wisconsin Families” seeks to tell the stories of those affected by adoption within our home state of Wisconsin. As the EngageWisconsin team produces this project, you can join us Behind-The-Scene through dispatches posted by our journalists. Click here to see an archive of ADOPTION STORIES dispatches.
